Still struggling

On October 16th, 2020 I delivered my baby girl at 19 weeks. She had passed at 18 weeks. I went in for my ultrasound and they found no heart beat. We got no explanation & i was so crushed. They asked me if I wanted to wait and pass her at home or if I wanted to be induced. I’m still struggling so much. Every day is so hard and I think about how I would have a baby girl in my arms right now. I relive the delivery everyday & think of the church bells ringing as I got In the car to follow the hurse to the grave yard. Her casket was so little & beautiful. I’m so scared to feel this pain again. I don’t know if I could handle it.