Looks can be deceiving

I’ve always had an issue with how I look for as long as I can remember. I don’t want to blame my mom in a negative way but I blame her for my own personal reason, seeing myself the way I am. I don’t know if I’m beautiful or not. It doesn’t matter if anyone tells me I am, I will have good and bad days and also look at pictures of myself as if it’s a different person. It is strange, but good pictures of myself, I do not see it in the mirror. It sucks! I really wish I can relate to someone who understands where I am coming from. I’m not trying to be negative or get attention. I just don’t see how anyone else sees me.

I’ve Always had issues with my body so that could be a factor considering my mom has always been smaller than me but she has always felt she was fat. With her telling herself she wasn’t good enough, always made me feel I was even worse than what she felt. I have three boys and have been married for 10 years. My husband always shows interest in me to this day but I feel he would still want what he had from the start. I do not see the person everyone else sees here.

This is me but deep down, I’m hurting and do not feel like I’m this person. I really wish I could talk to someone who can relate.

(Sorry if this isn’t the right category. Wasn’t sure where else to post)