IVF questions for embryo transfer

We are doing our first transfer hopefully next week and I had two questions if anyone can help with either or both

1. We have 3 female and 1 male PGS tested embryos. The doctor suggested using the male first because if we want one of each gender and it doesn’t work, we will know in the future we should do another retrieval. My question is, is there something they could learn after the transfer if it doesn’t work that would up the chances next time, and if that’s the case, would it be better to use a female since we have a few?

2. My husbands mom passed away unexpectedly this weekend and her memorial services are most likely going to be a day or two after the transfer. It’s going to be a very sad and emotional time. I asked my doctor if it will hurt the chances if I go to the funeral and I’m emotional for that time but the doctor said it wouldn’t. I’m torn though bc I always hear you should be calm, etc. what do you think? Obviously if it’ll hurt the chances we’d wait a month, but if it wouldn’t, this death in the family just makes me want to bring more life even more.