How would you feel?

Question

My fiancé and I got pregnant last may and while I was pregnant he told me he would like for me to be a stay at home mom while he works. When we would talk about things he would always say he wasn’t going to do this or that because he is the bread winner, personally I thought he would have a different view on things once our baby got here. Well our baby is four months and he rarely helps me with her (only when I’m having a mental breakdown) or when I want to shower but he tells me to hurry up. He won’t watch her when he gets home so I can do things I haven’t got to get done during the day bc he thinks I should’ve already gotten everything done while he was at work, nor will he just spend time with us after work he always goes straight to his video game bc “he worked all day”. Is this normal because he is the one working or does he just not want a kid? I’m also battling with ppd and anxiety and if my mom didn’t help out I would literally have 0 breaks... just want some input.
EDIT:I’ve talked to him multiple times about this and how I feel but all he says is you knew what you agreed to months ago. Yes I did agree but I didn’t know it would be like this. Where I’m literally sitting alone with our baby 24 hours.

Answer

No it’s not normal. He’s basically acting like an absent father and I would tell him that. I’m sorry you’re struggling, he should be helping raise HIS child.

Answer

He told you who he was and you didn't believe him. He's not going to change so you might as well look into finding work and daycare. You're already practically a single mom so make it official.

Answer

No, this is not normal hun. Just because he works out of the home does not mean he doesn't have to take care of his child when he is home. You need to put your foot down and make it clear how he has to help out more with the baby and around the house! And if he continues with the same crap then be prepared to walk away, he needs to know you're serious. Having a job doesn't mean you don't have to take care of your kids 🤷🏾‍♀️

Answer

Explain to him that he had a (40hr/week or whatever it is) job and he expects you to have a 168hr/week(24 hours*7 days) job and it be equal. You take 100% care of the baby and what you can do in the house while he's at work, which is probably closer to 45-50 hr/week depending on what his commute is like(assuming he works a standard 40 hour work week 5 days a week).
It's totally valid for him to need 30 minutes or something to decompress when he gets home from work. My husband has been working from home for the last year+ but when he was going in I would always give him about 30 minutes after he got home to lay down or whatever. But he also would watch our son so I could get my nails done, or shower, or just get my own tiny break. Or to cook dinner or clean the bathroom or whatever I'm pregnant with my third and it has been ROUGH. He'll frequently play with the kids for a few hours Saturday or Sunday morning so I can lay in bed and try not to die.
He is still a parent, just the same as of you both worked outside the home

Answer

He told you right out he had no intentions of helping. So its kind of strange to expect him to miraculously step up when he was clear with his intentions. And NO, I do NOT agree with him and his shitty behavior!!! I'd never tolerate that! So I'd get your butt in gear and get a job and start prepping to be a single mom if this isn't the life you want moving forward. I'd never be able to tolerate that myself and I strongly urge you to NOT marry this man. Good luck hun and I'm so sorry you're going through that! You deserve a partner to HELP and be your equal with your child!

Answer

He sounds like one of those losers who want you to polish his shoes when hes in bed as well. Sorry but your man is not acting like a man and id get on top of that now because itll only get worse

Answer

No, it’s not normal. He wanted you to stay home so he could hold money over your head. 
You don’t have to stay home. Get a job, and I’d recommend you start saving before you’re really stuck.

Answer

I’d have a serious talk with him about it and let him know you aren’t happy. Sometimes when we speak we are so easily misunderstood and things are taken out of content. (People love to mix your words or focus on insignificant things in serious conversations) so it’s best to maybe hand write a letter and tell him exactly how you feel. After he reads it, you can talk in person about it. Sometimes actually handwriting something has a lot more meaning and gets understood a lot better.

How would you feel?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products