Story time

Hey ladies, so background story my daughter is over one and I’m 7 weeks pregnant now. My entire pregnancy with my daughter was one big panic attack and anxiety. I’ve had issues with this before but never this bad. Basically i always get extremely high BP when I go to the doctors and especially my OB. Every single appointment I had for my daughter’s pregnancy, my blood pressure would be high and they would always tell me they’re worried about it and worried I could get preeclampsia. This went on for my entire pregnancy. I mean 70% of my pregnancy I was peeing 24 hours a day in this big jug they use to determine if I had protein growing in my urine, a sign of preeclampsia. I was SO worked up my entire pregnancy, I was literally terrified of us dying because I thought at any second I could collapse because of my blood pressure and the way they spoke to me about it at the OB just made me so scared. They even sent me to the ER one time when my BP was 162/90 at my routine appointment. When I got to the ER And sat there for 30 minutes it was 124/68. Keep in mind my BP at home was also always under 130/80, on average it was 120/70 and usually lower. HAS ANYONE HAD THIS HAPPEN?! I’m honestly a joke. If I would just calm down I wouldn’t have high BP to begin with. Needless to say I never got preeclampsia at all, and they even induced me early because they were worried about my BP, meanwhile it was just because of my anxiety that it was high. They told me I couldn’t be on any anti anxiety meds and none are safe really besides Zoloft but it doesn’t work for me unfortunately. What are the odds of getting preeclampsia your second pregnancy if you didn’t get it with your first? I’m not worried about it yet, but I’m feeling like I will be when my appointments start. Any advice? I just feel ridiculous and trapped in my own mind over this:(