Hi guys

I am getting help for this I just want to see if I’m not alone on this

My son is 14 weeks and I have postnatal anxiety

This is all based around germs pretty much. I don’t know where the normal line is for this and babies. The internet is so scary but I guess real people are different.

I hardly leave the house and avoid people I clean everyday and then still panic that things aren’t sanitary

I was like this in my pregnancy ( but never prior to that) I relaxed after birth but then my partner got a cold sore and I was terrified the germs/virus would spread to my baby and ever since then I’ve been over the top

(Thankfully our son didn’t get the cold sore virus)

I avoid my friends

I avoid my family

I avoid going places

I yell at my husband to wash his hands 100 times a day, after patting dog, being outside, eating ect

My hands are bleeding from washing and sanitizer

I feel sick when someone is holding him or touches him

I screen every guest I have over for cold sores and sickness and try to put them off coming over until he’s a bit older

I don’t feel normal and it’s exhausting I am hoping I can start to ease up as I know some germs are good for building an immune system

My brother contracted meningococcal when he was young and it wasn’t picked up by school nurse but the GARDENER

Thankfull he’s okay but I remember seeing my parents at that time.

I get intrusive thoughts about something happening to my baby.

I also had a bad car accident when I was found and thought my mum was dying right in front of me, she survived but with bad injuries

Every drive somewhere I think of car accidents

Normal everyday hurdles throw me! I found mouse poop in our cupboards and spent all night cleaning it with bleach then I googled and freaked out I got a disease while cleaning it up.

Tomorrow it’s our first outing as a family and im excited but nervous im scared something will freak me out and it will turn into a big fight. My baby is 15 weeks in two days

It helps me to vent to other parents and get their options, I was once a very normal person and now I don’t know who I am.

Writing this all out I sound crazy even to myself