In need of breastfeeding encouragement

Hey mamas,

I’m in need of a little encouragement/reassurance. Long story short my breastfeeding journey hasn’t been easy.. right from the get go I had issues with the latch due to flat nipples, I was given a shield to help the little babe in the mean time till he got a bit older. A couple weeks later he started using the shield as a soother, so we cluster fed every 45 minutes for a week straight, from then we started to wean the shield only to experience more pain. A doctor visit and 2 lactation consultants later, they convinced me it just wasn’t in the cards for him and I. So at 5 weeks old, I moved onto exclusively pumping with supplementing formula on nights I ran out of breast milk. When he was 3 months we discovered it was an undiagnosed lip/tongue tie. From then I tried to go back to nursing with no avail.

Now at 5 months, I’m just so done with pumping. My supply is starting to slip because I just can’t bring myself to do it. I hate the feeling, and my boobs are soooo done with it. I’m starting to get resentful and angry, because I feel stuck. I wanted to give my babe breastmilk till 10-12 months until he was mostly on solid foods, but I just don’t think I can do it. I struggled with the decision to introduce formula and give up nursing, and now I’m struggling again with the idea to give up on breastmilk all together.. I feel like I’m failing him.

Anyone else feel like this? I need to know I’m not alone 😔