Distancing Myself from Best Friend

I didn’t realize it until this past year, but she hasn’t been there for me like my other close friend has been. I’ve known my best friend for about 12 years.

At this point, I feel closer to her mom than her. I always have a hard time telling my best friend things because she tells her mom everything. She even told her about my first time being intimate with someone else.

In addition, she’s said some hurtful things that you just don’t say to your best friend.

1) When I was talking to this one guy I liked, she said something along the lines of, “I shouldn’t meet him because he’ll think I’m more attractive.”

She was also complaining about her work, how she didn’t get a break after working for 5 hours and had to cover other people’s shifts. I told her I had to do the same thing at my last part-time job.

2) Basically she said, “You can’t compare.”

> For context, she was working at a jewelry store in the mall that required she wear heels and sell jewelry. I worked at a fast food place that had me working 9 hours without a break, without sitting. Obviously the working experience at a fast food place and a jewelry store is different. I just thought it was hurtful she downplayed what I did as, “throwing food out the window”. She didn’t even try to empathize.

I also recently changed my major, and she had nothing to say about it. Her mom was the one asking about what my future plans were. My other close friend was excited to hear I changed my major. My best friend still hasn’t said anything, and it’s been a few weeks since I decided to change it.

3) She asked to use me as a scape goat

> For context, it was late at night and her boyfriend needed her. She has this pass for the toll road and she was worried her mom would notice she used it. If her mom asked about why she went out so late, my best friend wanted to say it was because I forgot something at work. In my head I’m thinking, ‘How will this look to her mom?’ Even if it was my phone, I wouldn’t have my best friend make the 30 minute drive out to my work at night to get it

I just don’t know what to do. I still care a lot about her. But at this point, because of some other things she’s said, I feel awful when I’m with her. I feel as if nothing I do will matter to her and everything I do is wrong. I don’t feel confident with her