Implant HELL

Background, got pregnant with my first following 2 MC and I KNEW I was pregnant it was different, I have no implant bleed and my hormones were sky high.

Been TTC baby 2 and had 3 more MC; but my story and questions is this:

Since I had Olivia the 3 pregnancies have all started the same, had sec at ovulation, then about 10 days later implant bleed (started off pale pink water, then got heavier red blood, stopped after a day or 2) now I know it’s bot my period because I’m clockwork 28 days and these bleeds are always earlier. I take hpt or had bloods and got positives, all have ended between 5-8 weeks with a heavy clot bleed a few weeks later.

I am going through the same thing now, so again I’m early, feeling some preggo symptoms but nothing as strong as when I had my daughter.

The implant bleeds for me have had cramping, with back ache and I always feel awful during it. Same thing last few days.

MY QUESTION: For anyone who has had a baby and then conceived and lost or conceived and kept did you start having implant bleeds after your first baby?

I am now thinking that the implant bleeds I am having is my bodies way of not accepting being pregnant?

Any MC ladies have you had this? An implant bleed then a rise in HCG and then lost it later?

PLEASE SHARE ANY EXPERIENCE! Every month we try I pray this time it will work and now I have lost all faith in myself and my body and that we will get baby number 2!