My MIL 💔

so many people hate their MIL’s, which is fine, I get that not everyone gets along but I just wanted to say a few things about mine… she was amazing, so kind, from the day I even met her she treated me like her own, she was just happy that I was making her son happy, she’s told me on multiple occasions that she loves me like her own daughter, when I married her son it’s custom to start calling your in-laws mom and dad as well for us, I don’t know how it is for others, but I just couldn’t, I never had a dad because mine passed before I was born so I’ve never called anyone dad so it’s uncomfortable for me, but I never could call her ‘mom’ either because my mother passed away when I was 13 and it just never felt right for me because my mother and I were super close, my MIL passed away from cancer earlier this year and I miss her so much, my husband and I were talking about her and I told him how I feel bad about it and he ended up telling me how it did upset her because she thought I was mad at her 😭😭 he didn’t mean it in a bad way and he did explain to her why I couldn’t and she understood but ugh I feel like shit I can’t stop thinking about it, even on her death bed I couldn’t at least say ‘I love you mom’ like why couldn’t I say that, I’m just in tears, I regret the last thing I said to MY mother before she died and I regret not calling my MIL mom at least once before she died, I know my mom wouldn’t have minded, it’s not that I thought she would be mad about it, not a day goes by that I don’t think about it and I hate myself for it