what should i do?

Question

so i’m 4 days pp & i just finished crying because i’m not sure if i should continue trying to breastfeed lo or just switch to formula. he will only latch to one side no matter what i do. the other side barely pumps anything and it seems like at night hes not interested in latching at all. i tried so hard last night and he just wouldnt even though during the day he latches perfectly fine on the good side. last night i had pumped just enough to bottle feed him and he took the bottle so easily and calmly that i just feel so selfish for making him try to breast feed . i feel like it would be easier for both of us if i just formula fed him but then a part of me feels guilty for giving up and another part of me feels selfish because what if we lose our bond? and i also just worry with formula comes spit up. but i really dont know what to do…

Answer

So first if all, well done for getting this far, those first few days of breastfeeding are very very hard while you both learn. 
What you have to choose is what would make you happiest. Breastfeeding is excellent, but there is not a damn thing wrong with formula either. 
That being said, if you do really really want to continue to breastfeed, there are things you can do with side preference. My little girl had a side preference and it was due to her preferring her head in one direction. So have you tried different feeding positions so that baby has their head in the same orientation as when they feed from the preferred breast? I had to feed in rugby hold with my right breast to kind of "trick" her into thinking she was on the left haha. She soon grew out of the preference so your journey isn't doomed. 
Also it's worth mentioning that baby will still be establishing your supply and that pumping is not an accurate signal of supply as baby is always going to be much better at getting milk. 
Baby could be getting stressed at the breast because they are trying to stimulate supply (very normal) or because they are a bit over hungry. 
Feeding with a bottle is always easier for baby to get milk, which is why lots of combi feeding mothers use paced feeding and very low flow teats to avoid bottle preference. 
If you want to use formula for both of your happiness then that is just as valid, all first infant milks are the same so any that you choose will be just as nutritionally valid as the other. Breast or formula can have your baby thriving. 
Now in terms of bond! Babies do not bond with food, ever. It's been scientifically proven time and time again that babies will bond with whomever quickest responds to their needs and provides comfort. So as long as you see those feeding cues and cuddle baby close, feeding with a bottle will build just a strong as a bond with baby as breastfeeding will! I promise you. 
So you have options mumma, as a breastfeeding mother myself I know just how hard those first few weeks are! You are not alone! We all struggle with it. But your mental health is more important than where the milk comes from, so if you feel that you and baby could be happier with formula then go right ahead! And know that is the best choice for you both. 
That being said it doesn't have to be all or nothing! You can combine feed with the correct support and information. You can do bottles of formula, and bring baby to the breast still. Above all, you are smashing this! Well done you xx

Answer

I didn’t bond with my son until I stopped breast feeding him.  He had a bad latch a tore my nipples up within a few days after birth, it was so bad the pain made me not want to feed him.  I switched to formula and my life was instantly better.  There is no need to feel guilty.  Formula exists for a reason.  A lot of women struggle to breast feed.  If you want to keep nursing him just give him formula for night feeds when he won’t latch.  It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

Answer

Get an IBCLC lactation consultant. Work with them. You just begun, you can do this!!!!!

Answer

If you decide to switch, please know that you are not being selfish. You have to make the decision that is best for not only your baby, but also your mental and physical well being. A healthy momma is what your baby needs!! I have PCOS and did not produce milk with my first; I was devastated and thought I would miss out on having a special bond with him. Boy was I wrong!! He has been such a momma’s boy from the very beginning and we have an incredible bond still!! Either way with what you decide, you’ve got this, you’re doing a great job!

Answer

if you are interested in continuing your breastfeeding journey i would recommend seeing a lactation consultant. at the end of the day fed is best which ever route you choose!

Answer

Honestly the first 1-2 months are SO hard. Hang in.

what should i do?

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