And it makes me so sad. I had another breakdown with my husband last night. I’ve been struggling so bad with being the one who’s doing 95% of everything for our daughter. She’s 10 months old. Since she was 3 months he decided he wasn’t doing sleep times like nap and bed. “She responds better to you”. After a while I would break down from exhaustion and bawl to him and he would pitch in but then it was right back to it. She’s an incredible active baby and she will flail her arms and legs when she’s tired and I’ve gotten kicked so many times and smacked in the head trying to put her to sleep.

When she was born I had an urgent csection and suffered nerve damage in my abdomen from it. Everyone acted like I had a mole removed and I was in pain. But I was and still am a good mom so I was up whenever she needed me. I even had emergency gallbladder surgery when LO was 2 months old. I’m still working on forgiving my husband and my family for how little they were there to help me during those painful months. 😞 It will come with time I’m sure.

Then yesterday we were on the phone with his mom. Who’s always telling me how my husband needs to rest or about how when she was raising him she did everything because babies are Mom’s responsibility. But she’ll tell me all about other people and how they need her help because they have one than one kid. I have one kid and MIL had one so she thinks it’s easy. She was also 19 when she had him and I’m 33. Anyways, we were on the phone and talking about her and FIL’s visit in town next week. She said that my husband’s grandmother gave MIL her credit card and said to take me shopping and out to lunch. “Grammy said to treat her because she hasn’t had anything done for herself in a long time”. I was shocked to hear this and later after this news is when I broke down again to DH. I told him it was so incredibly kind of his grandmother. That it also made me feel extremely sad. Why is it someone who I barely talk to unless DH is on the phone with her, has noticed that I’ve needed some TLC? That he and everyone else (his parents and mine) haven’t noticed or seem to care.

He told me that he hasn’t done anything with our child because and I quote “I know you have a certain way you want to raise her and do things for her so I haven’t wanted to step on your toes” 🤯🤔 I asked him for examples and he couldn’t give me a single one. I don’t believe him. The only ways I’m trying care for her is make sure she’s fed, rested and happy. Not really anything crazy going on here.

I’ve been upfront with him every time I’ve hit the wall and broken down. I don’t believe him with this. It’s hard that I don’t believe and I don’t fully trust him. 😔 I’ve seen people suggest couple’s counseling in these instances but we’re devout Catholics and that’s not something that’s done in our church.

To keep anonymous I’ll answer here:

He spends time with her but doesn’t do the other stuff. I’m a SAHM and I love it don’t get me wrong. But when he’s not working his day job he should be a Dad and giving me a hand. If I was working I’d be expected to do both as well. Just because his day job ends at 5 doesn’t mean he should get to just hang out until 8 the next morning.