I feel so sick right now

I knewww I was going to wake up early this morning. And now I am waiting for my bf to wake up so we can ft and talk ab things. Things could be totally fine. But because he ignored my messages all last night , I’m worried.

I have the worst chest pain and Ik so nauseous and I can’t stop myself from shaking. Frickin heart is racing. And I just have to count down the hours. He probably won’t even text me until late morning or noon. If things are bad I don’t think it’ll be a message in the AM. Idk what could’ve gone so wrong though. He seemed so normal and sending extra ilys and I miss you’s and stuff.

I’ve never had a breakup before. I’m 20 so I’m older-ish. But the is my first real relationship and we’ve been dating for 9 months. I’m trying to remember the positive but my anxiety is so bad.

I’ll delete these posts when I do talk to him. Right now making this is making me feel a little better. So I’m just gonna write down all the positives that point to him not being done.

His last message to me was saying he missed me.

Even though I wasn’t going to his apartment this weekend cuz I made other plans for once, he said multiple times how he’s gonna miss me and I’ll have to go down to his during the upcoming week.

We have a big trip he and his fam invited me to ab five months ago. So if he were to feel trapped by that, he didn’t have to make plans with my after we get back for a comedy show I got us tickets to.

this past week he double messaged me a lovey text saying how much he loved me , etc.

He said we need more date nights and that last weekend when we had one, it was the most fun weekend he had in a long time.

I feel like, or would hope, if he were being sneaky(which I thinks v unlikely) either one of his roommates would let me know if they thought something was up.

Idk. I’m sorry Ik I made one other post about this but that was kinda asking for advice. Like I said I’ll delete these afterwards. I just have at least like 4-5 hours until I would hope he messages me. :(

WAIT OMG HE JUST OPENED MY MESSAGE AND ITS 615??? I’m the morning ??? Omfg. I didn’t think I’d get so nervous now. I know he prob won’t message back like , when he wakes up early like this he usually waits a few hours until he thinks I’m awake or something. Do I message soon??? WTFFF