Does this sound like he is using me

Question

So I had a phone interview for a job that pays $52,000 a year (significantly more money than I make now as a student worker) and pays 100% of our health insurance. I told my boyfriend of 7 years about this (he is jobless right now due to mental health issues so I’m paying for everything date wise) and I said I think this would be great for our future and I started talking about how I want to buy a house and stuff and he said he just realizes he could marry me right now and he’s been waiting until he could get me a nice fancy ring but he just realized that doesn’t matter. Does this sound like he’s using me??

Answer

It’s hard to say, but the timing of this proclamation is suspect. Unemployment is a dealbreaker for me, so I’m a little biased in my thinking there. I’ve supported a boyfriend once, and that was plenty.

Answer

After 7 years you know him better than anyone. If he hasn’t mentioned marriage until now… that’s suspect. If he wanted to get you a ring, how was he planning on doing it? If he’s not attempting to better himself than you’ll have to realize whether he’s using you or not, you’ll be carrying him and enabling him for the rest of your relationship.

Answer

Little weird. Unemployment is a dealbreaker for me. I know we all fall on hard times, but we have responsibilities. If it’s so severe he can’t work, he should be on disability and be contributing at the very least. What would he be doing if you weren’t there to pick up his slack? Would he be homeless, or working?

Answer

How long has he been without a job? Has he been genuinely TRYING to get a job? Is he just now asking about marriage? So many questions to ask here.

Answer

Run girl.

Answer

If he’s not mentally stable enough to keep a job, then he’s not mentally stable enough to make such a big decision like that. He needs to get help for his problems, get a job and contribute, and then come back to the whole marriage topic.

Answer

Sounds like he might be trying to use you for that money and benefits.

Answer

I said yes, but agree with the other comments, that it depends on how Ling he's been jobless, is he looking for a job, is he trying to better himself in anyway. If he's been without a job for a time frame that is unreasonable for you, because we will all have standards set based on our own experiences, then yes, I would say he's using you because he couldn't afford (literally) to live without you. You're paying his bills. For me if he's had 4 to 6 months to deal with his mental health, which is pretty decent time to find a therapist to help work through those issues, that's a bit rough, past 6 months he needs to get his ass in gear or get lost. But again, that's really going to depend on situations, if he were in school or actively looking for a job/ interviewing, or even depending on what's going on with his mental health, there's more leniency.

Answer

I think it sounds like he’s gonna be financially relying on you more than himself or you on him. But I think it just means now that one of you is making bank he’s ready to move forward. 
Also though, I’m the financially more stable in my relationship and pay a significant amount of my man’s bills (which is totally fine) so maybe I’m biased? Idk I’m reading a lot of “run” but don’t see it that way.

Answer

I think we need more info. How long has he been unemployed? Has he ever had a job? Is he looking for one? Has he ever talked about getting you a ring or marriage before? Do y’all live together? If he’s not looking for a job and doesn’t want to work, but can, yes he’s using you. All I pictured was my ex in this post. 🤦‍♀️

Does this sound like he is using me

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