We have two kids, a son and a daughter. Our daughter has global developmental delays. She is already 1 year and 4 months old but still not crawling or cruising. She also doesn’t understand words and doesn’t babble much. We always wanted three babies but now with her problems, we are divided on whether or not to have another baby. We still don’t know what’s wrong with her but we’re hopeful she’s going to walk and talk eventually. She has been making progress, although slow, every month. We did genetic testing but the results will only be out in October. We would want another baby unless she has a serious disorder that requires help her whole life. Now we try to remain hopeful that that’s not the case.

Apart from that, I’m also very scared of having Covid during pregnancy. At the same time, I don’t know if the vaccine is completely safe. I haven’t received any dose of Covid-19 vaccine because I’m not sure what to do about it yet. I am just scared and confused about everything. Without Covid and our daughter’s development delays, we would definitely have already been trying or maybe pregnant with a third baby.

Ideally, I think I would rather wait but I’m turning 36 in a few weeks and I’m also worried about the risks of increased infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy complications, stillbirth, premature birth, chromosomal abnormalities that are associated with advanced maternal age. I never thought I would try for a baby after 35. I will also not abort my baby no matter what so it gives me even more stress because I want to keep the risk of having a baby with a chromosomal abnormality as low as possible. Trying for a baby at an old age wasn’t what I planned to do.

Seriously, I am so stressed and conflicted. I do not know what to do! I don’t know if I should wait until next year where Covid is already a thing of the past, our daughter is already walking and talking (hopefully) and deal with the risks that come with being pregnant at 37 and give birth at nearly 38 or just try to have a baby now and deal with the stress and possible risks of catching Covid or having side effects from it or from the vaccine during pregnancy and ending up with a child (or two) with a genetic disorder.

Sorry for the long rant. I know I am a paranoid person and may worry too much. But please try not to judge. Any advice will be appreciated.