Still has the ring…

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about a year and a half now, and have been talking a lot about marriage and having kids. This fall will be 4 years since his divorce. They were married for 4 years, and dated for about 4 years before they got married. They were high school sweethearts…. He says that he is over her and doesn’t care about her anymore, but he still has his wedding ring in the top drawer of his desk. It is usually sitting on the top of everything else is the drawer too. He moved halfway across the country with me when I got my dream job, so I know he loves me. I have brought up the ring before, and his response was that he was meaning to get rid of it, he just hadn’t yet. He still has it though… I want to talk to him about it again, but I don’t want it to turn into a fight or anything. We have had some other issues here recently as well. He says that he needs me to tell him what I need to help me feel more secure in our relationship. So I will tell him and when I do, he usually gets defensive and upset about whatever I have brought up. After about 10 minutes he calms back down and we can have a civil conversation. It is that 10 minutes that he is upset that I don’t like. It is not that I am scared of him or anything. He has never done anything to make me scared or feel like I am not safe to be around him. Part of me wants to be petty and just move it to see if he notices. Another part of me wants to be super petty and just set it on the island where he sits all the time, just to see what he would do.

I feel like I should add this, they got divorced because she cheated on him. He was willing to work through it, she was not and is now married to the guy that she cheated with and they have 2 kids. I also met them when they were married and knew the lady. When he talks about her, it is all negative. I have not heard him say a positive hint about her since the divorce. I feel like he carries a lot of hate for her.

With all of that being said. I know this was almost 10 years of his life. I know hate and love are very closely related. I know that since they were married he loved her once. I also know that she still probably has a good chunk of his heart and always will.