I wish I looked like her...

Okay...to start out with, I'm a 25 year old woman. I am 5'5 and I only weigh 122 lbs, and I have always been skinny. Always.

I've had people tell me I look like a child. I've been made fun of and laughed at because I don't have double-d tits. I've had perfect strangers give me information on some websites for anorexia or other eating disorders. In high school, one of my friends threw a cheeseburger at me and told me to stop looking like a cancer patient. The list goes on and on and on.

My husband, my brother in law and I were driving around downtown the other day when my brother in law pointed out a woman walking down the street, and he kept going on and on about how sexy/hot/beautiful she was. My husband agreed and said she was pretty. I don't normally mind this, as I know my husband loves me and he's allowed to find other people attractive as a normal human being with the gift of sight.

The thing is...they were right. She was beautiful. She was this tan blonde girl with sexy curves in all the right places. Her body language expressed endless confidence. And she looked like the complete opposite of me. Me, the brunette, pale girl who is often described as nothing but skin-and-bones. She was what people believe is sexy. Not me. Not skinny, boney, pathetic me.

I know I'm stupid to be sad about this, but it really fucking hurts, guys. I know that people will tell me I'm lucky that I'm skinny, and that I should love myself for who I am. I know I should be grateful for my health and my life and I should think of myself as beautiful in my own way. But let's be brutally honest with ourselves. It doesn't matter what the fuck I have going for me and it doesn't matter how hard I try. I will never be considered beautiful or sexy if I'm always going to look like the sickly fucking freak that I am.

I don't know. I just wish I looked like her.