Hi ladies,

So, I’ve been married since 2015 and I love my husband very much. He has two daughters from his previous marriage and I have two boys from mine. Our kids are 13, 12, 11, and 10. My husband is gone 21 days because he a captain on a tug boat and he’s home 21 days. I have depression and anxiety. Lately, I just feel unhappy with our relationship even though I love him with all my heart. He tells me he’s in love and loves me as well but actions speak louder than words. Last night, we got into a huge argument because I woke up at 6am and went to work and got home at 6pm. I was tired, I work in an OB Office. He was home all day with the kids. He took my youngest to football practice at 5:30pm. When they got home at 8pm, he was mad because my oldest made something to eat and I had a little bit of it. He asked the girls if they’d eaten and they said no. So he quickly made them, my youngest son, and him spaghetti but the whole time he was throwing stuff and slamming stuff. When he came and sat down to eat, I asked him if he was on and he said No!! He basically said I cooked for just me and my other son even when my son said I didn’t and he felt like I should have cooked something for everyone. I snapped back that I was at work all day and he was home for 12 hours so he could have cooked or got something ready for me to throw together. Our fight turned him to him basically saying when I get off work I’m lazy. He then told me I don’t care about anyone other than myself and that I’ve gained 100lbs since we met and that’s when I was done. I left and went walking in our neighborhood to cool off and be alone. When I got back 40 minutes later, he asked if we could talk and he apologized but I told him you don’t say that shit to anyone, especially a woman. Yes, I need to lose a lot of weight. I’m aware of it. I’ve been depressed the las week because at work I had my A1C tested and found out I’m prediabetic so I’ve been making changes to my diet. He basically hurt my feeling beyond repair to the point I don’t even want to eat because I just keep hearing “you’ve gained 100lbs since we’ve met” in my head when I lol at food. Today at work I’ve had 2 premier protein shakes and an 80 calorie yogurt with a handful of cashews and i feel horrible for even eating that.

I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough for him and I feel like someone who claims to love you shouldn’t be the one telling you negative stuff about yourself.

Do you guys have any advice? I haven’t talked to him at all today at work but I’d like to have a talk with him when I get home because he leaves for the boat tomorrow. Any suggestions?