When does this become enjoyable...?

Question

8 weeks tomorrow and my husband went back to work today and I got no sleep last night and it seems like none tonight either. The baby sleeps 2-3 hours at a time at night but she's so loud and I can't sleep because everything wakes me up. When he was still at home, we took shifts watching her so we were both guaranteed some sleep but I'd rather he get more sleep now so he doesn't make a mistake and get fired lol
But anyway, people keep telling me to "just wait, in a couple months, she'll be your best friend" or "in a couple more weeks, she'll be so much easier". But we end up just crying together as a family in the kitchen every evening hoping for better times soon. We keep asking each other if this was a mistake??? Family members help a ton but they have to go home at some point haha and then we end up in tears again. We both still feel like we're on day 1 with baby despite her being 8 weeks old and happy smiling and having a pretty good routine down. I just feel like we aren't enjoying her like I hear people talk about with their babies. It feels like this is how it's gonna be from now on which is terrifying to think about. Idk, just a feelings rant.
Edited to say, she's a double rainbow baby too which makes me feel terrible because we wanted her so so so so badly. And now we're like, what have we done...? 😔

Answer

it sounds like you might have postpartum depression honey, you might want to talk to a professional with how you’re feeling.

Answer

Honestly I didn’t enjoy my son until he was about 1-1.5 
He hated sleep, was fussy most of the time, just generally not a happy playful baby. 
Anyways, just here to say it’s okay not to enjoy the baby stage. It’s not for everyone, and it doesn’t mean you don’t love your child. I promise it does get easier with time as you get used to the new normal. Hugs❤️

Answer

This really sounds like postpartum depression. I went through the same thing with my now 9 month old. I reached out to my doctor at 6-7 months and was put on Zoloft. It’s made all the difference in the world. Good luck! Don’t be afraid to ask for professional help. Hormones can do a number on you, especially when combined with sleep deprivation.

Answer

I’d you have a crib set up for her in the other room, you can go ahead and put her there. She doesn’t have to stay in your room if she’s causing you to lose sleep. I loved the newborn stage, so I can’t really speak to the rest unfortunately.

Answer

You sound just like me hun. With my first my husband was a new teacher and he couldn’t afford to take a couple weeks off. My daughter would make noise at night too and be up 5 times and I would just stay awake and stare at the ceiling. My mental health was spiraling. My postpartum peaked around 6 weeks and I saw a therapist a couple times (a couple times empowered me) and I was prescribed trazadone so I could sleep. Lack of sleep is a big factor in postpartum. I started sleeping with ear plugs and my husband would alert me when baby was awake to be fed (thank god for that). I promise you it does get better once this newborn stage is over. It’s a shock to the system, atleast it was for me being a first time mom. Please reach out to your doctor and know you’re not alone in feeling like this 💕

Answer

When my husband went back to work he still took a shift with the baby. He's more of a night person anyways so he would stay up until midnight/1am to take care of our baby and I'd go to bed at like 8pm and get a solid 5 hours of sleep then take the rest of the night while my husband slept from 12/1am-7am. It worked for us and ensured we each got a bit of solid sleep. I felt pretty miserable with the sleep deprivation too. I think around 6 months my baby started sleeping a little better and the sleep deprivation fog lifted and I was able to enjoy him more. But definitely reach out to your OB and check in with your emotional health to see if they think you might have postpartum depression. I think my crying mostly stopped around 4 weeks postpartum when my hormones evened out. Hang in there. At the time it felt like it was never going to end but now my son is 15 months and it feels like that phase flew by so fast.

Answer

I would talk to your doctor about postpartum depression. Dads can get it too. But honestly I didn’t looovveee the newborn stage. They’re easier because they don’t do anything but also harder because they keep you up all night. When my first baby was 3 weeks old I thought omg what have I done? But it does get easier. And it goes by sooo fast. My second baby was so fussy and crabby for the first 6 months and now she’s almost 1 and is such a good baby and I’m like where did the time go? It’s hard now but it will get easier in some ways. You will sleep through the night again eventually. I now have a almost 3 year old and a almost 1 year old and they make me so happy and are honestly my best friends. Just give it time and talk to your doctor about what’s going on.

When does this become enjoyable...?

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