Update divorce 4: I shaved my legs for this...

***this is an update to I was wanting a divorce. I took everyone's advice I have communicated, I have done a date, I have poured my heart out. I'm just run down. Good news baby seems to be over the sleep regression and I have him on a prescription for acid reflux so at least hopefully I'll be getting better sleep. Just know my communication skills are on point and direct. I really don't think he cares and is just happy with status quo. Even before we left the house I was done with the evening. I had gotten the baby sitter flowers as a thank you as we were not being charged for her to watch our kids. My husband's response was "thought you got those for yourself. Figured then I wouldn't have to." He hasn't gotten me flowers in over a year. He doesn't put on effort when I am trying so hard. For those that think I didn't do anything I put on lingerie and gave him head. Baby woke up then he went to sleep. He got what he needed. I'm not being passive aggressive I had a condom in my hand. He just doesn't give a shit anymore because his life is fine.

2 babies in less then two years and first date since they were born. I arranged child care, did my hair, wore a dress, looked amazing, shaved (if you know what I mean.) Packed the kids up dropped them off, made reservations at a fancy restaurant.

Got home from dinner and put the toddler down. Baby woke up so how I'm back at rocking a baby for two hours while my husband sleeps.

I put so much effort into tonight to be let down. Husband has never gotten up with the kids. But for him to not even stay up to be intimate hurts. I had already satisfied my husband before the baby woke up. So I just feel used. I was so looking forward to tonight. I feel unloved. No cuddles, nothing for me, just feel like I've been running none stop. What is the point of a date if it takes more from me. I just want to feel loved.