I'm so scared I don't even want to go to my dr

I'm a mother of 3. In the beginning of this year we had a surprise pregnancy but we were so excited.

When I miscarried people said things tome like "maybe it's for the best" and "everything happens for a reason". It felt like our families were happy that we lost the baby.

My ob actually harrased me about the miscarriage. They apparently aren't very good at their jobs and no one bothered to put in my chart that I lost the baby. They called me endlessly asking why I wasn't coming in for appointments and they sent me a certified letter telling me they would call dcf if I didn't come in for my perinatal appointments.

I just found out I'm pregnant again. I dont want to tell my family, I don't want to go to my doctor, I don't want to discuss names... at least until we get to the second trimester. 🥺