Why is it so hard to meet a good man

Question

I would love to date and be in a relationship, however I am 23 and have hardly dated/ haven’t had a serious relationship. I am someone who would rather be single than settle for a guy who is immature, unaware of self, insecure, hyper masculine etc. But to be honest, it seems nearly impossible finding such a man. I would love to find a man who is sensitive and mature; someone who is similarly wanting to maintain their own independence while sharing life experiences together. Someone who sees me for all I am on a very deep level, not on a superficial level. Does this type of man exist or am I being too unrealistic? Has anyone shared a similar sentiment? Has anyone found a man like this? Any insight would be appreciated ♥️

Answer

If you find him let me know if he has a (much older) brother.

Answer

I am 42, trust me, dating right now sucks, thanks to the Internet, dating no longer happens, it’s instant gratification, thanks to hook up apps and dating apps and unfortunately there’s more married men than there are single men on dating apps, and thanks to the apps, if you don’t put out immediately, they ghost you, and they talk to multiple women at the same time and it’s a game of numbers, what one won’t do, another will, and it is hard to find a decent man, you are correct, because of this, dating has gone down the drain and the quality of men, has as well unfortunately there’s more crap out there than there are decent me. And unfortunately things to the Internet it’s easier to hide who you really are, whether you are in a relationship or your girlfriend or fiancé or wife or pregnant and you’re feeling lonely and horny and your needs are being neglected, so you’re looking for side piece or multiple side pieces to keep you entertained. Or they lie and are married or are I have so many issues that they are controlling or manipulative or insecure or jealous or possessive or have mental health issues that caused them to be narcissists or schizophrenic or bipolar and so many other things and they hide all of these things in the beginning and you don’t find them out until later on, once they suck you win, there’s so much deception and lies out there or they are a serial cheater and they don’t tell you about and you don’t find out until their family tells you when they are drunk etc. I completely agree with you that the quality of men have gone down the drain. And unfortunately women have allowed men to do this to them because they also don’t want to be alone, they would rather tolerate crap then be alone. They let men dictate the relationships and call the shots and say oh we’re only talking we’re not in a relationship you can’t claim me, in the meanwhile women are being strung along in the unknown and women allow it. I tell men day one I don’t do hook ups, I don’t do friends with benefits, I am a relationship person, and if you’re not on board with that, then I don’t waste my time, that usually weeds out the pump and dump guys, I tell them effort and consistency are very important to me, I will not chase after a man, if you don’t make the effort, you will not hear from me. The egg does not chase the sperm. Often times men will do the maximum in the beginning to get you and once they get you, they flip the script to the minimal and you end up chasing after them trying to keep the relationship going, nope not, me not anymore. I told him I don’t tolerate bullshit, I have it down in the beginning, and a man does not complete me, I complete myself. I don’t make a man my life and the air that I breathe, and if things don’t work out I fall to pieces now I have a life of my own, and if things don’t pan out, I’m fine. A man is supposed to complement your life not complicate your life, and women tend to forget that because they don’t want to be alone and tolerate bullshit because I don’t want to be alone and get treated horribly and unfortunately people don’t break up anymore one person just becomes an asshole or distant until the other person wants out or ghosts them l, instead of actually having the courage to say look this isn’t working anymore, and giving them a reason. It’s a sad sad world we are living in right now, but you are better off alone than bad company that doesn’t appreciate your respect you. And unfortunately sex is so freely given and readily available, and it’s understandable why infidelity happens so easily because of all of the options that are out there, whether it’s the cute girl in the office who laughs at all his jokes, thinks he’s the best thing since the invention of sliced bread, no drama, she doesn’t fight and complain and argue with him, it’s drama free, free sex, it’s kind of understandable why it happens, and same with the Internet. Instant gratification, whether it’s fan only, some girl who’s willing to hook up with you, you don’t even have to pay for dates anymore it just happens. The temptation is real and unfortunately men given to it. Which is why I’m so happy that there are men out there who don’t utilize the Internet which is why older men is the only thing I date now. I don’t bother with Generation X, I don’t bother with the millennials, because they’re all too self involved in themselves or the next woman or shiny object that grabs their attention. I prefer older men who have their life together, who aren’t looking for a mommy to take care of them, I can take care of themselves. I don’t date potential anymore. I date a man who can take care of himself and also has the potential to take care of me. No more oh he can be this and he could be that now I want who he is now, and what he can provide in every way, am I Golddigger absolutely not, I’ve worked since I was eight years old, a man doesn’t complete me, I complete myself, but I just got tired of the bullshit, and men know this. And if women would stop tolerating the bullshit, men would have to step up. Women allow The crap to happen because they don’t want to be alone, when he cheats the first time and she takes him back, that tells him that the behavior is not only acceptable, that you’ll tolerate it, when they do it again, and they will, you shouldn’t be shocked, because you took him back the first time because you didn’t want to be alone. Women settle for so much crap because they don’t want to be alone. I don’t know where this mentality came from that you are nothing without a man. I don’t know if it’s the movies or soap operas or Telenovela‘s whatever it may be, but we need to stop teaching women that. And that’s the bottom line women feel they have no self-worth, they allow men to treat them like shit. They stay together for the sake of the kids, meanwhile he’s sleeping with half your town, they allow men to disrespect them and treat them horribly make them feel like they’re not enough, they break them down and treat them like a doormat. On the contrary we need to build women up, we need to be strong independent women, we need to not tolerate the bullshit, and we need to find a balance between making someone the air that you breathe and having a life of your own, and not making them the air that you breathe. In the meantime, don’t lower your standards, the right person will be willing to make the effort and change his behavior and go to the ends of the earth for you. The wrong person will make excuses and never be ready, he’s not ready for whoever he truly doesn’t want, and that’s the reality that women need to understand. Women who stay with men for seven years or 10 years and he has no intention of marrying them, he has the intention of knocking them up and leaving them, he has the intention of being an irresponsible person and irresponsible father, because she allows it. And she never knew who he truly was, because he either deceived her or he hid it or he’s learned that he can get away with murder with her because she doesn’t want to be alone. Respect one out the window, and now the ball is in his court so he can do as he pleases. And that doesn’t work. She ends up getting used and taken advantage of and cheated on and abused and everything else under the sun. Don’t look for a man, a man that wants you will do everything under the sun to be with you. And that’s the bottom line focus on yourself, better your life, better yourself, build up your self-esteem, your self-worth, your confidence, and learn that it’s OK to be alone and not tolerate bullshit and not tolerate cheating and lies and so much other crap. That just because a man has interest in you doesn’t mean you have to date him, and when you see red flags, that doesn’t mean to collect them like a dozen roses, it means to not give them the benefit of the doubt, and dismissed them, but instead dismissed the person. You are a smart woman, you have your head on straight, you know your worth, and don’t settle for less because you don’t wanna be alone. You’ve got this, and when men finally grow up, and realize what they truly want in life, and get over this frat boy mentality and get tired of the bullshit, that’s when he’s finally ready for something serious. He hast to get it out of his bullshit phase. I wish you luck, I truly do,￼￼￼￼￼￼

Answer

I was thinking the same thing at 23, and met my amazing SO months later 😂 it’s a game of chance but don’t lower your standards!

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Porn and contraception contribute to men being disrespectful towards women and staying boyish. Porn leads men to think of women as pieces of sexual meat that they can get off on anytime they want. Contraception is an out for men to avoid the responsibility of fatherhood but still get their rocks off with as many women as they can. It isn't rocket science why we have a dearth of good manly men out there.

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I bet men say the same thing about woman lol. Try eharmony if ur looking hard and eilling to spend the money. I know a few ppl who found their life partners on it

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I think they exist but can be rare. When I got with my husband he was not self aware, observant or sensitive to other perspectives. But he wasn’t an a hole or superficial either. He has grown a lot over the past 4 years and is now very self aware, has goals, wants more for himself and works to be a good partner/husband. At that younger age it is tough to find men already in that mindset, usually they aren’t quite mentally ready or developed to be there yet and the toss up is whether or not they’ll grow into a good person or stay stagnant.

Why is it so hard to meet a good man

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