Gender Reveal/ Baby Shower?

Hi girls, I need some help to keep my pregnant brain cells calm. My neighbor who is a like good friend to us is planning my gender reveal/ baby shower party for us and am a super control freak and feel like have no control over this event planning. My husband has been discussing things with them but they are not involving me as much and are planning to surprise me. I dnt knw the venue, the theme, the decor, the food or even the time of the day! 1) Isn’t this supposed to be a surprise for both my husband and I? I mean we both have not yet opened the envelope. 2) Should I not be included in anything? Like I have dreamt of it since I got pregnant and have been saving pins on my Pinterest😒

I have some major control issues.. I read the plot of a movie before I watch it as I hate surprises.. Yeah, I am that pyscho😖. How can I be polite yet straight to this sweet couple trying to plan me a surprise 😫?