My husband and I have been together 10 years. We have a 3 year old and an almost 1 year old, both of the same gender. I know I want another baby but my husband says he really isn’t sure if he does and we should talk about it again when our youngest is 2. If I ever bring up having another he rolls his eyes and says ‘here we go again’ but he constantly makes comments like ‘when we have the next one’ or ‘next time’ or ‘when we have a third’.

I’m getting really frustrated with him. He said again recently he doesn’t think he wants another as it’s been tough going from 1 to 2. I said everyone I’ve spoken to says 2 to 3 kids is easier than 1 to 2.

Thing is I carry the baby, birth the baby and feed the baby (I breastfeed) so he doesn’t have to do night feeds or wakes ever. I do 95% of the parenting, even when I am working. I earn £20k more a year than him (around double his pay) so I really don’t get why he thinks his opinion matters on this. I buy 95% of our children’s clothes, shoes, presents, toys too. He does around 50% of the housework.

I feel like this is a deal breaker for me and I don’t know how to tell him I want one more baby or I’ll leave and have one using a sperm donor and take our children with me. Any advice please?

Edit to add because someone asked- we both said before we had kids we wanted 3 or 4. My mindset on that hasn’t changed but he doesn’t believe he should be held to something he said 10 years ago. And I realise it may sound harsh but he’s even said he doesn’t think his opinion should matter as much as mine on this because it is my body that has to go through it all and because I do more and am the only one with a career

Final edit to add- yes he really did say his opinion doesn’t matter as much as mine because I do way more than him. And my comment about my career came from him, not me because my pay progression is better and he works in a call centre which is ‘just a job’ (his words) which is why any time the kids are sick he takes the day as parental leave because my career is harder to have time off from (again, his argument and when they’ve been sick I’ve offered to take time off but he insists it’s easier for him) so a lot of what I have said has been echoed from conversations with him over the last 4 years since we fell pregnant with our first!

Last edit- wow, I can’t believe you women beat another woman down and criticise for knowing what she wants. So it’s ok for him to make comments on when we have another but the minute I say it I should shut up because I’m pressuring him? Y’all don’t see both sides. I treat him like a damn King and I deserve what I want in life from him. He wants for nothing, I do pretty much everything for him while working full time and still keep him satisfied in other areas. So you can bet in 3 years I’ll be sat there with my 3rd baby living my best life because I deserve to be treated like a Queen when he gets treated like a King. I’m done ✌️

To the person who asked how old I am, I’m 30. I’m a high school teacher so work in a highly professional environment with people older and more mature than me and they agree with my views too.

Last edit- thank you so much to those of you who have worded your comments and opinions in a nicer manner. My husband and I spoke last night in bed and again this afternoon when he returned from work. We cuddled, he kissed me, he reminded me what a fantastic job I’m doing and he told me he’s worried about my mental health right now after a very stressful few weeks, during which we lost our beloved family pet. I told him how hurtful I find it when he makes jokey comments all the time about having another and he said it’s just because he does think about it but it does worry him and he’s not 100% ready to make a decision either way. He’s reassured me he just wants to see how it is when I’m working full time again and just enjoy the next 12 months as the 4 of us before talking seriously about it. He’s promised to stop making jokey comments if I stop mentioning it in retaliation to what he says. He says he thinks I need a break and to relax as I’ve been so stressed and I never allow myself any time to switch off from being a mum and a wife so he says he’s going to try and give me more time. I do love my husband very much, I just get frustrated that things always seem like a joke to him and that he doesn’t notice when I need support or a break. Hopefully now we have had an open adult conversation for the first time in a long long time, between family life, events, work and nursing our poorly pet who we lost, we can start moving forward and be more positive and understanding of each other.