Im not sure if I actually like anal,. But I want to..?

So I've done butt stuff for a while with different people. Sometimes it's good but other times especially with my current partner it feels horrible. He's girthy and goes deep so it feels uncomfortable.

I've already done some anal dilation training to get use to the girth which has helped and I've tried vibrating butt plugs, those are to intense and hurt... but it might just be his motions? He goes really slow and it makes me feel like I have to shit, truthfully. I prefer to go fast and get it over with..but with other partners it wasn't as bad.

Idk what the problem is. Idk how to grow to like it more. Does anyone have any advice?

It's his favorite thing to do and I feel bad for never wanting to do it. Id rather not be told that some people just don't like it, I like it to a certain extent I'd like to like it more though..what has helped you?