PLEASE HELP: cervical positioning???

So basically I’m in the middle of my tww. I’m fairly confident I’m not pregnant, but tbh I really wanna kill that 1% hope that I have for good so I can at least stop thinking about it 24/7 for this cycle.

So I tried to do the whole cervix thing and I’m a bit confused. I washed my hands, got into a squatting position, and leaned my hips forward and am 99% sure I found my cervix. So when I reach it, it’s about a third of a way from the top of my middle finger, but it’s also squishy and feels open? Tbh I’ve never done this before so I don’t know how accurate it is, but I did do it like 10 times to make sure. There was a brief opening which felt like…idek how to describe it, thin flaps?? But my cervix doesn’t feel like my nose or my lips - so I’m like wtf?

I read that the lower it is, it is also going to be hard and closed which ofc means not pregnant. But I’m somewhere in between? Can my body just cooperate for one second???

Anyway pls bless me with ur tips and advice. Thank you!