Is she just putting it off??

Question

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 5 years now (we’re in a same sex relationship) and for the past 6 Months she always seems to have a reason not to be intimate with me. It’ll be feeing bloated, nauseous, tired, hormones off kilter, vaginal pain, there’s always a reason! 
Regardless of what I do, whether I dress up in something she likes, put on makeup, getting the candles out etc, nothing seems to work and she always brushes me off and tells me ‘not today’. I don’t know what to do about it, as I really miss that closeness and I end up feeling ‘dirty’ for wanting it. 
Any advice on how to fix this? Other than this our relationship is so great and I don’t want this to ruin it!!

Answer

Communicate.

Answer

This may be a long response. 
A couple things immediately come to mind. 
1. She’s battling something internally. 
2. Her love language needs aren’t being met and it’s a turn off. 
3. She may feel as if their is a lack of affection. 
As a women, you know how complicated we can be. I’ve noticed that when my love language isn’t being met (more so primary love language vs secondary) I am less apt to have to sex and I know that the clues and hints and effort my fiancé puts out for an intimate moment his him trying but I tend to feel as though affection is missing in the moment. (It’s not, it’s how I feel). 
If she’s pregnant currently (I’m not sure if this app is for pregnancy only) it could quite literally be her hormones messing with her. She may feel inadequate or even gross as a person. Sometimes as we grow humans we forget we are growing humans and just feel nasty all the time with either acne, or extra sweat, or whatever it may be that pregnancy can cause. 
I saw you said you communicate and I was always told to use the “I feel” phrases. But I was doing it wrong for a long time and realized it was causing more harm than good. 
Instead of “I feel like you never want to have sex” said “i feel like WE don’t have sex as often, is there something I can do?” Switching from “I and me and my” to “we and our and us” can really make a difference. 
I hope this helps. 🥺 I am not an expert, but I have been through this exact same scenario with my fiancé where I was the one not wanting to have sex and came down to figuring out the deeper problem together.

Answer

Maybe she has past trauma. Ask her.

Answer

Communication is key. My husband started feeling that way but then I explained to him that I was going through somethings from past trauma and he understood. It could be many things but you'll never know until you two talk

Is she just putting it off??

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