how to get yourself out of depressive state?

i’ve had depression for half of my life and it has only gotten worse as i get older with new responsibilities, new chapters that open and close and i have never learned how to really get out a of a depressive episode. it gets bad especially on my days off where i truly have nothing else to do but be alone and feel lonely because i have no friends and the two friends i have don’t even talk to me. too busy with their lives and i’m here like what about me? what do i do when i’m truly alone?

i stay in bed and i know i wanna do something but there’s nothing else to do but sleep and i know it’s a depressive episode because i feel so unmotivated, so drained out of energy. i wanna get out but where? alone? i know we tell people to learn how to enjoy your own company but what if it’s all i’ve had and just so tired of being alone?

i want to feel alive with excitement of doing things i like. i want to have some kind of purpose of getting out of my bed but there’s none. i want to feel like there’s more out there than just curled up in my bed.

and i’ve been trying. going to the gym, drawing, going out for walks, cleaning my room, doing my makeup, netflix, but it does nothing. it’s like i’m working towards something but at the end of the day, i’m going to end the day with no else to tell all the things i did. i’m going end the day alone. what kind of life is that?

so how do i get out of my bed with a more positive attitude? i just wanna feel like there’s at least some kind of purpose but i can’t seem to find it and im tired. i don’t do anything excessive but im tired.

any advice/tips will be appreciated. thank you.