Disagreeing with your spouse on how to handle tantrums?!

Question

How do you guys handle full blown tantrums?? 
I prefer to just let them sit there and cry, and I go about my business. (This is after I’ve tried EVERYTHING to calm him down and nothing works 🤷‍♀️) My husband gets annoyed and puts him in his crib and closes the door until he calms down……. I don’t know how I feel about that, I just don’t agree with it. 
What do you guys do??

Answer

We acknowledge feelings and try to give him an alternative thing to do (“I can see that you’re sad. It’s okay to be sad. Would you like to color or read?”). Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t. 
I’m trying not to be judgmental here, but I would never in a million years put him in his crib and close the door. For so so many reasons. 1) I don’t believe in punishing feelings. He can feel however he feels. 2) I worry you’re creating abandonment issues. When theyre upset they need love and support. 3) tantrums are developmentally NORMAL, we should guide them through it, not make them do it on their own. 4) you’re turning the crib into a punishment zone, when the place they sleep should be a place of comfort. You could be creating sleep issues.

Answer

I acknowledge his feelings “I know it makes you sad to get out of the bath, but let’s read a book, do you want this one or this one?” And the distraction question usually works. If not I change the scenery and we go to a new room. Distraction is such a lifesaver for those tantrums

Answer

I have the same issue where my husband thinks we should handle it totally different and it drives me crazy. I’ve just tried to accept that we are going to parent differently. I’ve also tried to show him how my way works better, but sometimes he gets irritated and goes back to his default because it how he was raised. I prefer to be similar to you, I verbalize her emotion and let her cry and get it out of her system. If she needs a hug or a kiss I give it to her.

Answer

We leave my daughter alone until the tantrum is over. She started hitting her head on the floor and walls though so when she does that we end up basically restraining her until she calms down. If we don't she continues to hit her head. She has given herself bruises several times and even cut it open a couple times.

Answer

Like Yiu I leave them to Tantrum it out. She does it for attention so I'm not giving her the attention she seeks. Once calm, I have a conversation about their behaviour.

Answer

We’ll usually try to calm her down if we can but when that fails we take her to her room for “quiet time” until she’s ready to calm down.  Sometimes I’ll sit in there with her and sometimes leave her on her own.  I try to acknowledge her feelings and tell her that it’s okay to feel mad/frustrated/upset, etc... and that she can come back out once she’s calmed down and feels ready

Disagreeing with your spouse on how to handle tantrums?!

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