Hey guys, so back in the ending up April I had found out I was pregnant and went to my first OBGYN appointment and the doctor confirmed I was but said baby looked smaller than expected but since according to the calculations I was only about 4-5 weeks far along the doctor told me to come back in 2 weeks to see if there was any changes. I cried my eyes out those two weeks because deep down inside something in my heart was telling me what I already knew.

I went back to the doctor in 2 weeks and she stated that she didn’t see any growth and that just like the first appointment she couldn’t find a heartbeat still so I was having a missed miscarriage and recommended for me to take some pills so I can complete the miscarriage at home.

I took the pills and ended up completing the miscarriage at home and it was the worse thing that I ever experienced in May 2021.

Now fast forward to now Oct 2021 there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my baby. My due date was a few days before Christmas, Dec 21, 2021. And now I’m left dreading that day ever coming. This was my first pregnancy at 29 years old. My boyfriend thinks its better if we wait until we get our Bachelors degree in the next year or two and move to a better apartment. But deep down inside that seems to far for me. I’m only getting older and I feel like my chances are getting slimmer and slimmer with age. I feel like we both many enough to be able to afford a baby. We sit down and talk about it and he’s very set on how he feels and I don’t know what to do.