Wanna be friends?

Half vent and half plea? I have been struggling making friend for awhile now. I was in the military for about 5 years when I decided to separate after having my second daughter. The job I had made to wear I never saw them unless they were sleeping and I missed a lot of first with my first daughter and didn’t want to miss them with my second. After separating though it seemed like all my friends I thought were close ended up dropping of the face of the planet and thinking back on old friendships it seemed to be the same. I am such a kind and loyal person and after thinking back I think that was my problem. I ended being the background friend, the doormat friend, the “the let me vent to them about my problems so she can make me feel better” friend. I realized that I put more significance on friendships then the other person put it. I felt like I had really good and close loyal friends but when it came down to it? I ended up thrown to the side when I didn’t match of the convenience to help them. What am I doing wrong? I want to be able to have a friend to trust all my secrets and love me as much I would love her as almost a sister? I feel like I’m sounding needy right now but it’s been a real struggle for a couple years not having that bond with someone when you need them. 💔