When do you start thinking about the future?

Question

When in a relationship do you start thinking of the future? I have been with my bf for almost a year now (him 26, me 22) and no talk of the future plans yet besides he doesn't know what he wants. Which is understandable but I also don't want to be wasting time just to find out he doesn't want the same future as I do. When did you talk to your partner about what you want in the future? What do you think? Am I wrong to be thinking about it a year in??

Answer

Personally I think your own future is more important than a relationship future in some cases… for example if you haven’t finished school or if you guys are in your young twenties like under 24 in my own experiences pushing for talk of the future has always put unnecessary stress on my younger woman relationships.. . There are always exceptions so if you guys have children… or like terminally ill I can see the need for the conversation… but sometimes these posts come from women who are quite young and I would never say waste your time but instead STAY SAFE but focus on building yourself instead of the relationship at that particular point… some women don’t know what they want to do with their lives but want their man to know that he wants to spend the rest of his with you at the age of 22 just because they met him at 21… 
Now 25 and over or done with school with kids etc I think yes, you both are pretty secure in adulthood and should know not every detail AT ALL but instead an idea and asking a man you are intimate with what are his intentions is just fine! And it’s expected because you are ready to actually start those next steps so the stress you are placing has an actual like reason… you are not crazy regardless of your situation to feel ready to know… I’d recommend not asking directly if you already have (sounds crazy I know) but instead ask if his job offers 401k or how much vacation time he has for next year and what are some trips you guys could plan.. ask about childhood traumas , to see if they have healed from them.. I do believe men have an idea but when we pick them apart they become ya know unsure of the “right” thing to say .. 
Good luck!

Answer

You two don’t want the same thing. If he can’t tell you that he wants a future with you after being together a year, you should move on and focus on dating men who know they want a family/future. You’re wasting your best years on someone who sounds like they don’t want that type of commitment with you.

Answer

My boyfriend & I have been together for a little over 2 years now & started talking about the future a few months into our relationship. That said, we are long distance & I have a young son (he has a grown son from a previous marriage), so I definitely felt that certain things needed to be talked about early on. A couple of the things we discussed early were eventual relocation & marriage, as I didn’t want to waste a lot of time if we had very different wants/needs. We’ve continued to talk openly about our future often, even as recently as a couple days ago.

Answer

Me and my boyfriend already kind of knew the paths we individually wanted to take. We also both knew mostly what we wanted in the relationship, and if not we were open to discussing that along the way. And we discussed this when we first started dating

Answer

Now, if you know what you want, you don’t want to waste your time, it will be a lot harder longer down the line

Answer

Sounds like a conversation for now.

When do you start thinking about the future?

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