⚠️ ⚠️ trigger warning ⚠️ ⚠️ pregnancy loss

When we found out we were pregnant my MIL decided to tell her whole family despite my husband and I telling her we felt uneasy about this one and wanted to keep quiet until 20weeks. She told us we've had two kids and it'd all be fine. Fast forward to yesterday. We found out we actually lost the baby at 17w. I'm already struggling with handling the news myself but now her family is feeling the need to send me messages and I don't want any of the sympathy messages. My husband told her what happened and she's decided she's coming to visit (despite telling me she wouldn't when the baby was born). I'm torn between being civil because she's family and calling her up and telling her exactly what I think of her. She also made a comment that it was probably from my side of the family since the baby had a growth off its head and they're suspecting a chromosomal abnormality. My husband has not responded to her after telling her we don't need her to visit