I need to vent

I want to lose weight but I lost motivation again. I lost a baby December of 2017 and when I lost it I got motivation to lose weight and try again at my biggest I was 308 and I got down to 235. Then covid happened and I gained weight currently 275 ik i should lose weight and I want to but I no motivation anymore. Going on 4 years later and still on little one. Right fallopian tube taken have cyst in my ovary for a while. Now they found the issue that's been wrong with my balance I have ataxia it effects my cerebellum just to know that I have this and could pass it on to my kid makes me not want kids but want kids at the same time. Although maybe I can't have kids think people say it will happen when you least expect it. I was doing that for 2 years and nothing. I'm tired I think this time I have really again up