regretting this pregnancy

I’m 24 weeks pregnant. I haven’t been excited about this pregnancy at all.. I’ve shopped and bought baby clothes but I still just don’t feel the happy, exciting feelings like I did with my other pregnancies. Ive been knowing the gender since around 12 weeks and the baby still doesn’t have a name. Every time I think about making a post asking for baby name suggestions I change my mind . It’s like I don’t even look forward to trying to name it or put energy into naming it. I’ve been so depressed this whole pregnancy. The baby’s dad told me to get an abortion more than once. Every time we would argue he would throw that in my face then when he wasn’t mad anymore say that he really wants me to keep it. I feel like that also conditioned my mind to not get excited about the baby because I debated having an abortion up until 23 weeks when I called the clinic for the last time and they said the cut off is 24 weeks so I couldn’t be scheduled in time. Not like I had the money anyway. It was 1750 when I was around 15 weeks and I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t want to get an abortion and still don’t because it would haunt me to terminate a baby this far along. I just regret this pregnancy so much it’s making me sad bc this baby deserves someone that’s thankful and feels blessed to have it. Sometimes I get sad when I feel it moving inside me I’ve cried . I just hate to bring this baby in this world. Me and the dad’s relationship is so toxic . He’s abusive emotionally and physically. He’s also a cheater he’s cheated on me the entire relationship. I actually had a miscarriage before this pregnancy due to one of our physical altercations. I really just wanted to vent and get these feelings off my chest. I feel so alone . I take care of 2 kids already by myself and I adored them both my whole pregnancy. I hate feeling like this towards this pregnancy 😢 tonight he took my phone because I was ignoring his calls. I was ignoring them because he was trying to argue on the phone about how I haven’t posted the ultrasounds on my social media and he feels like I’m hiding the fact that I’m pregnant. So now I have to buy a new phone . I just pray for peace and healing I’m so broken I don’t even feel like I’m good enough to raise 3 kids . Please don’t comment saying some woman can’t have kids and I should be happy about this … that doesn’t change my feelings