[UPDATE] who’s in the wrong? *argument*

as some of you guys might of saw, yesterday i posted about my boyfriend threatening me and giving me the silent treatment after i didn’t want to try anal due to the bad experience of a past attempt. my post got a lot of reception and a lot of you were extremely supportive which i’m appreciative of. i thought i would update you all though it may be long…

about an hour or two after i posted, my boyfriend started talking to me again. he apologized for his actions and we had a pretty normal thanksgiving together. his behavior was pretty normal. last night we eventually start making out and did some foreplay which accelerated to sexual intercourse. i noticed that before my bf started sex with me he put on lots of lube which he’d never really done prior. i asked him about it and he said “the wetter things are, the better they feel.” i didn’t think too much of it. the first ten minutes of piv went great and then out of nowhere, he tries to jam it into my butt. i immediately started crying and yelling for him to stop but he pushed me down into the bed while forcing himself into me telling me to “take it” and to “stop being a little bitch”. he continued doing anal on me until he came which was fortunately pretty quick. afterwards he smiled at me and said “wasn’t that bad right?”

i cried and yelled and asked him why would he do that to me. why couldn’t he just accept that it was painful for me and that sex should be pleasurable for the both of us. he just laughed and stared at me. told me i was making it a bigger deal than it was and that eventually i’ll like it. that i just needed “a push”. i went to my closet and started packing my stuff and told him i was done with him and leaving for good. he walked into the closet and slapped me and pushed me into the wall telling me how i wouldn’t be anything without him and that i’m worthless. that no good man will want me and that there’s real women who aren’t selfish and actually care about pleasing their man unlike me (though i tried anal in the first place for his pleasure and not mine). i grabbed my suitcases and started walking to the front door.

he literally yanked my hair back and dragged me to the door. then pushed me out the door and thew my suitcases on top of me. locked the doors after he threw all my stuff out. i called my older sister and now im at the train station waiting for my train to take me to her city which is about an hour away. we will figure out how to proceed when i get there as my car is still at our place (both of our names is on the lease) and i have some valuables at our apartment.

im pretty destroyed. physically i have some

bruises and a swollen eye but mentally and emotionally im extremely broken. im trying not to blame myself but it’s hard. i just keep thinking that if i would’ve done what he wanted and at least gave anal another solid try i wouldn’t be here and things would still be good between us. He has been texting me but I haven’t been responding

again thanks for all the support everyone. it’s much appreciated❤️