I really messed up.

Before I start this post there are the few things I want to mention. No this isn’t a pity post, I feel horrible. I don’t want pity, I don’t know how or if I’ll forgive myself. I’ve been taking antidepressants for a few months and the day before yesterday I forgot to take it, well that and my headache medicine I take at nighttime I can’t mix so I just didn’t take my antidepressant. I figured I would be ok. Well yesterday my significant other went to a funeral and after it was over I blew up his phone. I know it was out of line. I have apologized but there’s only so much an apology can do. I can’t change the past. I was selfish and crazy. I don’t want to blame my medication. But I don’t even really remember being crazy or blowing up his phone as much as I did. How do I forgive myself ?