Surggracy my last pregnancy now I’m having my own child

I’m feeling so guilty for seeing pictures of her and still not feeling anything.

Like I know she’s my daughter but at the same time she’s not .

She dosent even hardly see or know me and I gave birth to her .

We have an open agreement her father ( he’s also one of my best friends ) is raising her alone til he finds a male partner if he choose to

But I’m so scared to get close to her because than I’d miss her more .

It really Gets to me sometimes I know I made an agreement and I’m not going back on what I said it’s just it’s emotional for me . Being pregnant again carrying a baby i know I will get to take her home it’s just hard .

I just needed to vent .

I’m scared to tell him how im feeling I feel selfish for feeling this way .