My nephew wants to be a new person

Originally Post:

This situation is honestly a mess. My sister called me Saturday the most angry I have ever heard her and basically said she needs to send my nephew to me because she's done with him for now. My nephew has had a hard year. Last year his girlfriend died and he blames himself. He had gotten COVID from going to a party with family. He's the only one that got it but everyone had to quarantine and he gave it to his girlfriend and she already had health issues and she sadly passed. My sister doesn't see the big deal since they were only dating for 6 months and 16 but it obviously destroyed him. Since then he's kind of shut himself out. He started failing school and was overall not doing well. He pretty much embarrassed himself and the his whole family. They had a Christmas event at his high school and he was supposed to sing in the choir. It stressed him out because he would be standing in his girlfriends usual spot in the choir. He ended up getting drunk and the party and wasn't in the choir performance. Instead he got caught by everyone there having drunk sex in the bleachers with one of his friends (he's bisexual but he was in the closet except to family)..... So he's decided he's never going back to school again because he's humiliated and is dropping out because his reputation his ruined. That just threw my sister completely over. First she catches her son having sex and the whole town sees. Then he says he's dropping out. He technically has until 20 to change his mind and go back, otherwise he has to get a GED. Well since he's not my sister's favorite son right now he's coming here and she literally through his ass on a plane this morning. He said he needs a gap year to figure his life out and I want to give that to him, but idk what should a gap year consist of.

Update: So my nephew is here. His plane landed and we talked... I got him some food and he said he wasn't really hungry. I did talk to him about school and did he really want to leave everything behind at that school and he told me the complete story of him getting drunk and caught having sex. He said it was much worse because how people found out was some teens got into the light shining box they use for football games and he got shined on. He had no idea people made there way outside and the spot light on on him and his friend. He said he didn't know of it was the light or stress but he ended up throwing up all over his friend while he was still inside him.... Oh lord. Honestly yeah I wouldn't have went back either. He said "I humiliated my family's ruined my reputation and my mom hates me". That hurt me. I said my sister didn't hate him and asked what I can do to make him feel better. He wants to go shopping for clothes. He wants to he a new person here. I asked why and we got into an argument. I think he should just be himself here. But he said he wants to be a new person someone he didn't get caught getting railed at his high school, someone who's mom doesn't hate him and someone who didn't kill his girlfriend. He teared up. I tried to comfort him but he went to the guest room.... Should I really just let him spend his gap year as a new person... I feel like that wouldn't do him any good. Than again I don't have kids so maybe in wrong. What do you guys think?.

Edit @Renee I had no idea how the situation was being handled. I assumed he would have seen a counselor. I didn't even know he was spiraling until Saturday.

@Nyss I mean he's 17 will be 18 in February. If I force him to go now he will just drop out when he turns 18. I'm gonna let him have his gap year but I did tell him he needs to have a plan by the end of that cap year, whether it's going back to high school or getting his GED and then what he wants to do after.