I just went from 1 toddler to now 3-4 at home…

Im not exactly sure how to say any of this. It’s been very hard. Sleepless nights, overwhelming amount of thoughts. Never ending to do’s… all from just one day to another.

My mother and my stepfather haven’t been the best parents. Not to myself nor my older brother, and even less so with my younger siblings. I’m married (4 years) and have a 2 year old son. At the beginning of my marriage I saw how drastic my leaving home was. I was kind of the glue that held everything together, made everyone kind of feel more at ease despite the very obvious struggles. I sacrificed and gave so much for my family but when I left was when it all came down. So here we are 4 years later. My Mom has lost her mind, and by that I mean she’s completely not well mentally AT ALL, in ANY circumstance (she crosses the street with her eyes closed/doesn’t brush her teeth because she believes she’ll get new ones/h makes my siblings wrap her like a mummy at night/thinks fat people go to hell/forces my siblings to eat extremely small amounts or not at all) and my step father well.. he’s abusive physically and mentally, negligent and irresponsible to save myself the trouble of typing his stupidities. I saw the bruises. And I went to their school, I went to CPS. Long story short I have temporary custody. I have a baby on the way. I have my own son. And now here I am 4 years later still being that glue to my family, in this case my siblings trying to save what is left of their childhood innocence. I’m exhausted and I cry alone when they can’t see me. This is so brief to what I really am living and feeling. I have to move apartments now, possibly get another job to afford this, I’m so crushed. All because of parents whom couldn’t just open their eyes to the damages they do. Here I am again cleaning it up. AGAIN. I’m not complaining at all, it’s just if you knew everything I gave up (even going to college) you’d understand how hard this, for me and for them.