Anyone else can relate ?

I’m a mommy to 2 boys and 1 more on the way . Since Covid happened , things obviously haven’t been the same and family gatherings are just rare now. I try to make holidays fun for my little family and sometimes I get mom guilt because Sometimes I just feel like I could do more and end up beating myself up at night when their asleep and just cry . Growing up I didn’t have much and my parents were always absent , I had a workaholic mom since my dad who was present wasn’t helping in any shape or form so maybe that’s why I get upset when things don’t go as planned when I try to do something fun for my babies . Their 5 anx 1 years old . but we are also tight on a budget due to California getting more expensive as years go by and Covid not helping either . They are super clingy to me which I’m happy about and I see them smiling but I don’t know as a mom you always want to give more and it’s hard when you can but have bills to worry about . Now that I’m having a third , I’m just sad that I might not be able to keep up with them like I usually do since I will be building a routine with our newest addition . How do I deal with emotions like this ? Or am I the only one ? . My kids have everything they need and want & I keep them well on their toes , I just get emotional sometimes like if their happy .