5 Week Chemical

Well, I am having a chemical pregnancy. It was confirmed today by HCG numbers this morning. They haven’t progressed like they should and in fact are staying relatively the same as my last draw 4 days ago. This is our second loss in a year. I just don’t know how to feel. A bit numb at this point. I guess I was a little more prepared this time around but it doesn’t really take the sting out.

I know it’s not my fault, I just can’t help but feel as though my womanhood is threatened and I just can’t keep pregnancies. How do women find the strength to keep trying? My partner and I are just kind of at a loss for words and don’t know where to go from here.

I just celebrated my 35th birthday 3 days ago (my bleeding started at my birthday dinner that evening) and feeling a little hopeless and sad. Trying not to let this taint me but that’s really hard.