I can feel myself drowning. I can cry at the drop of a pin. I feel so alone. I’m finding it hard to love being alive.

I’m 4 months PP and I felt literally on top of the world, loved being alive, loved being a mom, and recently it hit me where I can’t find happiness in a lot of things. My SO was so helpful and then it became to where it’s easier without him. I have to tell him when to feed our daughter, change her, when it’s time for her to sleep, to just hold her so I can have a break. When he holds her she cries but it’s only because he doesn’t hold her enough. Even at night I do all the feeds and he will lay there and not get up when she’s crying, I have to ask him to get up to do it, whenever he does feed her she cries because he continuously takes the bottle out of her mouth because he doesn’t understand her feeding behaviors. We went to do laundry a few days ago and I got our daughter set up in her sit me up so we could do laundry…then he lays down on the bed and says “so I’m gonna lay here and watch football and keep her from crying” at first I let him and then I told him this isn’t fair and he got up to help after huffing and puffing about it. I understand he has a 9-5 but I have a 24/7 and having a partner who isn’t so helpful makes it so much harder on me. I feel so distant from him and so unhappy. Half the time or should I say over half the time he only talks about football, watching YouTube videos, or playing games. I am so drained. The other night we got into a literal argument because I didn’t want to make out so then I got an entire talk about how he has to basically pressure me into loving on him, he has to ask me to play games like I’m his mom, me and our daughter put a lot of pressure on him(which makes me feel like a burden), I’m so fucking tired. I’m fed up. I want him to just know when to freaking clean, what to do with our daughter, and to just freaking help, and respect me. I suck at expressing my feelings but considering how low I’ve been feeling it’s time I do, any help?