Bf and I (23 + 22) have been going strong for 1.5 years. Lost my virginity to him summer 2020. When we started having sex I was super eager to try all these exciting things I’d seen and heard about. We would go wild and have sex is risky places and we’re fairly adventurous.

In March 2021 found out I was pregnant unexpectedly and ended up getting an abortion. Ever since then I have been super cautious and on edge about doing anything sexually spontaneous. I CANNOT go through the pain I did last March again, I think it would end me.

Bf and I have busy schedules now but have sex roughly 1/10 days. I’ve never orgasmed with him and I’ve kinda given up trying to get there cause I know he’ll finish before I can even get close to having one. He’s noticed and brought it up and said he hates that I’m not satisfied. I tried to be gentle in my wording when he asked if he satisfies me. I explained the clitoral orgasms I get when masturbating are very different from the sensation of vaginal penetration. He thinks I’m being silly when I said the majority of women can’t orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. He also said my level of wetness (or lack thereof sometimes) is slightly offensive towards him because it means I’m not turned on or attracted to him in the moment.

I can’t help but feel that something is very wrong with me. Some might suggest counselling which I’ve done before but it’s not an option due to my limited budget rn. What do I do?