Grieving

I have never experienced a loss like this. a week ago my elderly dog has passed away. I had him more in my life than a didn’t. he was very sick and the weeks before his death, I cried all the time. when he passed, I cried and then felt numb and like I couldn’t move. it’s a few days later, and I just feel very tired and bumpy. I haven’t cried really. I always thought id be crying like crazy. am I in shock? like sometimes I just stare into the space I never done that before or sometimes I have conversations in my head arguing between him being here and not. I think it hasn’t hit me yet. he was my absolute best friend. I don’t know why I am not crying or something. does my body just not want to believe it? i’ve never been through this before. I keep thinking he’s gonna just come back to me. I also witnessed his death, I was with him through the entire thing. so seeing that was just really traumatic and I feel like my mind is blocking it out. it feels like im forgetting what having him felt like already and it feels like he was just a dream, is my body just blocking out memories from him? I don’t know even know. I really love him so much.