My miscarriage And then my rainbow baby

My first pregnancy was a miscarriage at 3 month I went in and baby had no heart beat a unviable pregnancy they said if my child was born he would’ve came out with alot of complications and deformities . Went through that alone my son I have now just turned 4 months and Was born on his siblings due date which shocked me and scared me yet comforted me Bcz Ik his sibling sent him to heal me. I went through my pregnancy alone and now am raising him alone with the help of my mother has much as she can his dad comes like once a month for 1 hour and that’s all . breaks my lately I’ve been really emotional about my miscarriage even tho it was a year ago . I love my son so much and it hurts to know my body failed me on my first pregnancy I guess i feel alone … I feel like no one was there to comfort me and I don’t feel comfort now I know I’m. A great mom and can do it with little effort his dad puts in but it sucks raising a baby alone I see people with there family’s and it makes me envy them I hope one day I can provide a happy complete family for me son just a rant so please no negativity