Sorry.

I don’t know why, around this time every year February ... I think of you the most. I think of you everyday but , I think of you the most during this time. Maybe it’s because I know your birthday is nearing and you’re not with me. I think of you and everything you could have been. I think of all the talking and walking you would have done by now. I think of all the clothes I bought for you and how they would have looked on you, had you had the chance to wear it. I think of this one pink dress in particular, how I wished to have seen you in that summer dress with your chubby little legs sticking out and waddling everywhere. How I wished to have felt your weight on my chest. My memories of you are few, sleeping. I will never forget a single feature on your face or a single limb on your body. It’s hard but, I don’t think I can forget how your body turned cold after a few hours... I never knew that could happen but, you were so cold and I just wanted to keep you warm. Some days are worse than others but, this whole month has been hard. I’m sorry Maryam. I love you.