is it an issue ?

Question

so my boyfriend has a 7 yr old from a previous relationship and then its me we been together for 6 years with two kids.. yesterday i found out he sent her flowers and we had an argument he said “ well she has my son and i want him to see that hes 7” .. am I wrong but i thought that was for mothers day idk if i should let it go or break it off because I personally feel valentine day is for couples but i can be wrong.. he always spend the entire day with me so i know he didnt see her

Answer

I talk to him about it if it upset you. 
Personally, I see it as showing his son how to respect and show live to the person who he created an entire new life with. He’s showing his son how to do these special things out of love and respect. So I wouldn’t have an issue with it, especially if he already explained that that was his intention.

Answer

I think it's important for his son to see that even though they're not together he still respects her. I think it is important to instill the idea that he should also be celebrating his mother on holidays as well. It's important for young men to see how men should act. And for those who think that it's so awful to gift something to your ex-wife who is the mother of your child you guys must not know what healthy co-parenting relationships look like and I feel sorry for you for that. Life is so much better and children grow up so much happier and so much more well developed when they see kindness around them instead of toxic step parents.

Answer

Yeah id be very upset too. I get the reason, its sweet but its not appropriate. His ex is single and that’s okay. And his son needs to see that, there is nothing wrong with not getting flowers

Answer

I don’t care what holiday it is there’s no reason for my husband to be sending his kids mom anything. You aren’t together and there’s no reason you have to paint this pretty picture for kids like you are. Lol as long as the kid sees them getting along and coparenting that’s all they need

Answer

If it was from your husband to her then it’s wrong. If it’s him buying it for his son to give to her then that’s different. Maybe his son wanted to gift his mom something f and he clearly has no money.

Answer

I don’t care what holiday it is or if he’s has 12 kids with an ex. There’s no reason to be sending the ex anything other than child support. That relationship is old and dead - yes you should be civil but if he wants his father showing how to be a good man he should see the way he treats YOU not your ex. All that’s gonna teach his son is to never stop looking back.

Answer

I feel like there is 100% nothing wrong with that. I also feel like he should have talked about it with you in advance. And I feel like it should have came together with an explanation about showing respect to the mother of his kid or giving the flowers in name of his kid. 
I do understand that you feel like that's for mothers day. I also understand his point of view.
I sure do hope that he celebrated valentines day with you as well.
And yes I am also a stepmom, we're together for 7 years. I do think it's a nice thing to do from him. I do hope this shows in other aspects of their lives (him getting along with his ex etc) unfortunately I missed that in my youth, and I miss that in my partner's relationship with his ex.

Answer

People celebrate Valentine’s Day differently. I know my cousin and I have gotten all the aunts flowers before. I will say I do understand why it bothered you and you should speak to him.

is it an issue ?

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