Were you on the fence about having a second child?

Question

I’m currently on the fence about having a 2nd child. My husband and I have talked about it and we agreed it’s a no go but I know he’s wants another (my 1st is his step kid). He travels for work and I can’t drive so I’m just super anxious and nervous about it but I’d like another. 1 day I’m like yes let’s do it and another I’m like no not ever again. What did you guys decide to do or did you leave it up to fate? How’s it going now and how do you feel about your choice? 
I’m just having a lot of anxiety about it and everything that comes after baby honestly 😅

Answer

Coming from an only child….. if you are on the fence… PLEASE consider having more kids. I have no siblings, no nieces or nephews. My own daughter won’t have any cousins. My cousins were my best friends growing up. I feel like I missed out and she will miss out too. When my parents pass away, I will be my only blood family left. Being an only child is lonely.

Answer

I 100% did not want anymore children after my first child. She was a very tough baby and child. Then 3.5 years later I accidentally became pregnant with my second one. I was devastated because I was just about to leave an abusive relationship. My pregnancy was not easy and I was off and on bedrest. 
However, this baby was nothing like my first. He was so easy and is my best behaved child that has brought so much love and joy to my life. I’ve learned so much from being his mom. 
Since leaving that relationship I got married to a man with no kids. I decided to give him one and we enjoyed having kids together so much that we’ve had more after that. 
I feel complete now, and we have so much to juggle, but I also know to never say never because things change in life with time. Once earthside I’ve never regretted any of my children. 
My sister had her tubes tied after her third and after the death of one of her children, she deeply regrets not being able to have anymore.

Answer

If you are on the fence I would 100% suggest to not have another child until you know thats what you want for sure.
I was always on the fence, left it up to “fate”, got pregnant without planning and I regret immensely. 
Luckily I’m on therapy and working through my emotions, but there hasn’t been one day in the last 8 months that I didn’t cry about having another child. Either because my pregnancy has been hell but also the anxiety of starting things all over again, specially right before my son goes to school and I was gonna be able to focus on myself.
Like you, I also don’t drive… so I’m filled with so much pressure because theres so much to do in little time. 
Anyway… thats my two cents. Really think about it before getting pregnant so you don’t have these awful feelings Ive been having.
Good luck!

Answer

If you would’ve asked me how many kids I wanted 5 years ago, I would’ve said 5. But we had 4 losses (one involved a neural tube defect that increases the likelihood of it happening again) before my son so I was ADAMANT about not having any more after him. My husband has a daughter from his first marriage so my son was my first living child. We had a girl and a boy so we were set. Until right before my son turned two, we started talking about having another and had decided to let “fate” handle it. We had sex ONE time in my fertile window like the second cycle into it and ended up pregnant. I’m currently 20 weeks with another healthy baby boy, but this pregnancy has not been easy. We have made the decision that this baby will be our last, as long as he makes it earthside. There is a chance that I could need a hysterectomy that could end any chance anyways but I feel really good about not having anymore after this one. I hate being pregnant. I hate the anxiety that goes along with our pregnancies. So BOTH my husband and I will be getting fixed after this baby is born. 
No one will truly know this answer but you. I know that I will never regret having our current pregnancy because kids are just the best thing in this world. I would just talk with your husband and see how he truly feels about it and what his time frame would be. Hope you guys find your answer!

Answer

Honestly the birthing process I am terrified of it all again and having no me time anymore does suck at times but for myself I know I want more kids and for her to have siblings. My family is small all I have is my brother and a few cousins left that keep in contact. I wish my family was bigger. My husband comes from a big family so she will have cousins her age but I would want to give her a few more siblings. Some people do not like kids and if your one of them then I understand but if you come from a small family or if the family isnt close i would consider another kid. I cant imagine not having a sibling. I know of those who were only children and most of them if asked were lonely and wished they had a sibling.

Answer

I wanted 2 kids before even trying to get pregnant. I lost my first 2 pregnancies, had my daughter (easy pregnancy, difficult postpartum and "easy" baby), and I knew even after giving birth that I wanted my child I just had to have a sibling. I come from a family of 2 kids and my husband from a 3 kid-family.

Were you on the fence about having a second child?

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