Im super nervous to take a test !!

I have been TTC for 5 years now. I figured I never ovulated after taking an ovulation test once a day for a month straight and never getting a positive. I have irregular periods and suffer from heavy periods every once in a while. A year ago I suffered from a chemical pregnancy. My periods are all out of wack and there is not a single cycle that's the same. Last month my period started on the 2nd. I tested ovulation randomly one day because I felt a heaviness in my pelvic area the day before and got a blazing positive (pictured, the dates and cycle number days are all out of wack so only look at the O tests lol )

I was excited and BD that night. We had BD two nights before as well and a couple times after the + O. This O was a late O because of my irregular periods. It was on CD 29. I have had nipple soreness that does not go away ever since that day. On 9DPO i had a sharp cramp in my lower abdomen and spotted. on 10DPO no spotting. on 11DPO spotting again and today (12DPO) spotting a little again. It does not get darker and stays light pink. I am 12DPO and have been nauseous all day. I napped for 4 hours today and woke up still feeling nauseous. I know I need to take the test but I am extremely nervous to not see a positive. After 5 long years I feel like this could be it, but it will break my heart like never before if it is negative. ☹️

UPDATE.

is this a positive ? it's most clear in the light.